I was down on my luck having just broken up with my boyfriend. It wasn’t a big thing, boyfriends aren’t all that hard to come by, and truthfully I was getting tired of all the hassles anyway, but I didn’t have my own place either. Finding my little brown butt on the sidewalk wasn’t too good, especially since I had exactly $18.11 to my name. I’d just spent a buck eighty-nine on a peach wine cooler, which was pretty rowdy for me. I even bummed a smoke from some guy, but choked on the first couple puffs and tossed it.
I’m not much of a troublemaker, not by a long shot. I was just 19 then, barely out of high school and bouncing from job to job while I tried to figure out what I was doing with my life. It wasn’t that I didn’t have dreams, or ambitions, I did. I just didn’t know what they were yet.
My latest job had been dancing in a strip club, which I didn’t care for a whole lot. Sex really isn’t my thing in the first place. It’s okay sometimes, but night after night seeing those guys sitting around just staring like they wanted to eat me for dessert. Yikes! That wasn’t for me and I’d even turned down a pretty good raise earlier that day when I’d told the manager I was quitting.
She was a nice woman, full of compliments about my body and even though she was a lez, I think she meant most of them. I’m 5’2” and about 90 pounds, with little A-cup boobs and narrow, boyish hips. I have long black hair, thick and wavy like a permanent perm, and my almond eyes are soft and brown. My ass is nice and round and my legs are great, everyone likes my legs, but I shaved my pussy so I looked like I was 12 again. Janey, the manager, put me in catholic schoolgirl uniforms, and stuff like that for my routines. I even went out in a girl scout uniform, selling “Girl Scout Nookie” for 30 bucks a table dance and 50 for a lap dance.
I made a lot of money real fast, for the club and for me. But I’d spent it, as usual, and now I’d just broke my last twenty. I had no home, no boyfriend, no job. The sun was going down and I was in Seattle in April, you just knew it was gonna rain and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I wasn’t going back to the club, that was for sure. Nor did I want my old job back at Wendy’s, selling hot ‘n juicies to stoned kids in their daddy’s car. That job really sucked.
So maybe there really is fate, or destiny, or Buddha or something, I dunno, but it couldn’t have been pure chance when the little newspaper came fluttering along on the cool breeze. It wrapped itself around my calf like a hungry rodent and I ripped it away in annoyance, almost letting it go, but not quite. I caught the words “Help Wanted” in small type and I set my cooler down, spread the newspaper over my thighs, and took a look.
It was some weird newspaper, I thought, definitely not the Post-Intelligencer, because the ads in this paper were looking for weird stuff. Like Master Seeking Slave, and Baby Girl 4 Daddy, things like that. I didn’t see a whole lot about prior experience, or how much these people paid, although for some of that stuff it seemed like it should be quite a bit. Like the guy looking for a woman willing to be amputated? Come on, I’d need a lot of money before I’d go that far! And a woman offering to cut off testicles for free? I laughed at that because what guy in his right mind would ever let a girl cut off his balls for nothing? I seriously began to wonder if this newspaper wasn’t some sort of joke.
It started raining and I ducked back into the 7-11, looking at the fat old clerk who gave me a frown. “It’s pouring cats and dogs, for crying out loud.” I told the woman, turning my back and shaking the paper for a second, knowing it would annoy her. I’d been in that 7-11 a thousand times and she’d never smiled at me once.
Hmmm…Cats and dogs. I found an ad that sounded interesting…
Dog Girl Wanted
SWM seeks Bitch 18-35 for long term live-in service. Height/weight proportional, clean and disease free a must. No experience necessary.
It wasn’t much of an ad, I admit, and calling a girl a bitch right of the top like that made me a little wary. But I like dogs and I’m one of those people that just seem to attract them. Even the meanest dog will stop barking once he sees me, or catches my scent, or whatever. I don’t know why, or how, I just know it’s the truth. Dogs are always following me around and I never really minded it, although my parents used to complain because I’d never finish my dinner, wanting to save a little something for my newest four-legged friend.
There was a phone number and I figured I might as well call, feeling quite sure whoever the man was would be able to explain more over the phone. Or so I hoped. Of course the clerk wasn’t gonna let me use her phone, that might have made us friends or something, so I had to ask her for change so I could use the pay phone outside. Luckily it was a short run through the rain. I wasn’t exactly dressed warm in my t-shirt, short denim skirt, and old pink cowboy boots. In fact it was getting downright chilly and I wished my boyfriend hadn’t been such an asshole. My ex-boyfriend, I mean, he’d tossed all my stuff off the fire escape before I even knew we’d broken up. Half the bums on Pike Street were wearing my clothes now. Half the whores too, probably.
“Yep?” The voice on the other end was deep, but I couldn’t tell how young or old really.
“Uh, hi. I’m calling about the job?” I said nervously, cradling the phone against my shoulder and pressing the newspaper up against the glass in the telephone booth, just to make sure I’d dialed right.
“The job?” The man sounded confused.
“Yeah, um, in the uh…” I had to look at the front of the paper. “…in the FM Gazette. About wanting a dog girl?”
“Ohhh, the Fetish Market, right…” I thought I could hear the guy nodding. “You’re a dog girl?”
“Hmmm…” I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I really wanted a job. “…Well, dogs like me, and I like them!” I giggled nervously.
“How old are you, honey?” He asked, not unreasonably I guess.
“I’m 19, this past March. I had my birthday and…”
“So just turned 19, eh?” The guy cut me off. “And you love dogs? Big dogs?”
The way he said it sounded kind of funny, but I put that down to my poor nerves. “Sure, I guess, yeah. The bigger the better, right?”
“Right, yeah. Well, I need a good dog girl, that’s a fact. What do you look like?” He questioned me and I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Uh, well, I’m half-filipina, short and small, sort of thin, but not anorexic or anything. I used to be a dancer, a uh…well, a stripper, so I guess I look okay…” My voice sort of trailed off because I wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear.
“Ahhh…just a lbfm, huh?” He chuckled.
“What’s that? I didn’t catch what you said…” I narrowed my eyes at the phone wondering what an LBFM was.
“Oh, nothing, little joke and a bad one too. Okay, so um, sounds good so far. How about you come by and we’ll see how well you fit, eh?” He was laughing again and I wondered if he was okay, or drunk or something.
“Well, see I just broke up with my boyfriend and um, I’m sort of stuck and I don’t have a lot of money, so…”
“So you couldn’t get here even if you knew where it was, is that it?” He asked in a good-natured sort of way. Maybe he was okay afterall horse sex drawing.
“Yeah.” I said, sounding apologetic.
“Well, how about I come get you then. Where are you?”
I told him where I was and he said it would take about an hour since he lived down by Enumclaw, sort of out in the country a ways. I thought that sounded kind of nice though, get a break from the city and breath some fresh air for a change. I really hoped this guy was okay though, I’d met a lot of weirdos in the club and it could be a little scary. Of course in the club we had Big Mike, the bouncer, and Earl, the DJ and they were pretty good at watching after the girls. But standing out in front of a 7-11 waiting for a strange man to pick me up and take me to his place? I was definitely asking for trouble, I knew, and I almost walked away.
But then I remembered I had nowhere to go.
It was closer to an hour and a half before the man I’d spoken with on the phone showed up. I didn’t know it was him of course, not until the old rusty green pickup truck he was driving pulled into the parking lot with the high beams on, blinding me and anyone else who happened to be looking in the wrong direction. I covered my eyes as the truck growled to a stop right in front of me.
“You the dog girl?” The guy rolled down his window and called out in the rain. He didn’t stick anything but his nose out the window though, so I didn’t get much of a look at him.
“Yeah.” I nodded, biting my lip and thinking this was it, I had one last chance to change my mind.
“Well, let’s get goin’ then.” And I saw his vague shape lean over and the passenger side door creaked open as I dashed through the heavy drops and climbed in.
“Hi.” I said, trying to sound cheerful because I didn’t want to sound nervous, but my heart was beating faster and I had to concentrate to slow my breathing down.
“Howdy.” He said, and then we were backing up and soon on the road leading to the highway and Enumclaw.
“Uh, thanks for coming to get me. I’m sorry I don’t have a car of my own…” I always felt this urge to apologize when I was nervous.
“No problem, I like getting out of the house once in awhile.” He shrugged. “So tell me about yourself, girl.”
“Well…” I figured I oughta start with my name, since proper introductions hadn’t come up yet. “My name is Rachael and…”
“Rachael, huh?” he chuckled. “No need for any of that. I’ll be calling you girl or maybe bitch from now on, depending on circumstances.”
“Oh.” I licked my lips, not really knowing how to respond to that. “I guess uh, well okay.”
I wasn’t sure I was going to like being called bitch all the time, but girl was sort of acceptable, in a way. He was older than me, a lot older, maybe even older than my dad, who was 53 and pretty old, in my opinion. The man had a strong jaw and deep set eyes, but otherwise it was hard to get anything from his profile. Thin lips, not much for smiling I supposed, and short iron grey hair. He wasn’t fat, or skinny, but just average in build and dressed like a farmer, with a flannel shirt and jeans. He smelled like fresh cut hay too, or so I imagined, not really knowing what fresh cut hay smelled like. It could have been alfalfa for all I knew.
“You’re a looker,” he glanced at me in the dim light, “I’ll give ya that, girl. Kinda small though, you sure you like ‘em big?”
“Dogs?” I asked and he gave a little nod. “Yeah, I like all kinds of dogs. They’re cute.”
“Cute?” He laughed at that. “I had three girls come round applying for the job, none of ‘em thought my boys were cute.”
“Your boys?” I wondered at that, since we’d been talking about dogs.
“My dogs, yeah, I ain’t never had kids, so I call them my boys.” He smiled to himself. “They’re spoiled a bit, but good lads every one of ‘em. So go on, tell me more about yourself then.”
We had gotten away from his original question, so I started talking about me.
“Well, I graduated high school last January and…”
“January?” He looked at me. “I recall most folks graduate in June. What happened to you?”
I blushed a little. “I had a little trouble with math.” I admitted. “I just get my numbers mixed up sometimes, especially that geometry and algebra stuff. Trigonometry too.”
“That about covers most of it.” He grinned.
“Yeah.” I nodded, feeling a little silly. “So, anyway I had to take some classes over…a few times.” I’d actually taken trigonometry 3 times before I passed it with a D- and remedial algebra twice.
“Don’t you fret about that stuff, girl, you won’t be needing to count much more than three at my place.”
“Oh, um, good.” I hoped he wasn’t just humoring me. “So, after I graduated I moved in with my boyfriend, he was a football player, but now he works down at the docks, unloading ships and stuff. He’s really sweet…”
“Sounds like a good fella. How come you ain’t with him tonight?”
“Uh, see he sort of broke up with me.” I swallowed hard, not really wanting to talk about my personal life like that, but I guessed the man wanted to know who he was hiring.
“Broke up?” He looked at me again and I pulled my short skirt down a little since my panties were showing, just a bit. “Is he stupid?”
“What?” I widened my eyes. “No, uh-uh, he um, well he gets real jealous sometimes. See, I was working as a dancer at H.R. Muff ‘n Stuff, that’s a little dance club by the airport? There isn’t any H.R. though, Janey just said they liked the way the name sounds with the letters in front and…”
“Yeah, Janey was my boss and well, see, she had a fight with Bambi, her girlfriend, because she only likes girls. So she asked if she could stay at my place, just for one night…” I tried to keep this story short, really, but it was hard. “…so we were sleeping together in bed when my boyfriend came home and he thought we were sleeping together! I mean yeah, we were sleeping together, but not really sleeping together animals and humans having sex. Janey was asleep and I was asleep, see?”
“So you and your boos were sleeping together, but not sleeping together.” The guy was laughing a little. “You don’t have both oars in the water, do ya girl?”
“Uh…I’m not even in the boat.” I laughed nervously. “Am I?”
“Nope, I reckon not.” The man agreed and I felt a little better. Sometimes people say stuff like that and it confuses me a little.
“When my boyfriend saw me and Janey in bed together, I guess he was drunk or something, cause he started taking off all his clothes and getting in between us. That woke me up, and Janey too, and she doesn’t like boys very much anyway. I guess maybe she thought my boyfriend was gonna rape us or something, cause she kneed him in the balls really hard. And then did it again, just in case she missed the first time.”
“Hmmm…” The man frowned a little at that, as I guess most men would.
“Then my boyfriend was laying on the floor, sort of white and looking like he might throw up, you know.” I shrugged. “And Janey left and I didn’t know what to do, but when I tried to help my boyfriend he just got mad at me, calling me a dyke, and a cunt, and all sorts of stuff I didn’t like. So I left, thinking maybe I’d come back when he was feeling better.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” The man agreed.
“So I went to the club and Janey was sort of mad too, telling me that when she wanted to sleep with me she hadn’t meant sleep with me and my boyfriend, like it was my fault!” I sighed. “So I sort of quit, even though Janey apologized and offered me a raise. She said I was the best little money maker she had.” I told the man proudly. “But I couldn’t stay, I mean not after she’d hurt my boyfriend like that, could I?”
“Uh, nope. I don’t reckon.” The man agreed.
“But when I got home, all my stuff was thrown out the window! My boyfriend wouldn’t even open the door, he just said he was gonna call the police on me and Janey for being man hating dykes who had beat him up! And while I tried to talk to him upstairs, all the bums and whores and anybody else walking by was taking my stuff!”
It almost made me cry thinking about all that, but it felt good to talk about it too. Like I was getting it all out of my system and I felt a lot lighter inside, which is good, because with the dark and the rain and all that it was mostly pretty depressing.
“So then you called me?” The guy asked and I nodded. “Well, I ain’t gonna toss you, girl. If it don’t work out with my boys, I’ll drive you back, don’t worry about that.”
“Okay.” I smiled a little and wiped at the one little tear that had started in my left eye.
“But, I gotta tell you, I had three girls and a fag come by for the job, and not one of ‘em worked out.” He made a little sighing sound. “My boys are pretty picky and they can be a mite rough too. Hell, that couldn’t get his foot out the door of his car. My boys didn’t like him at all. And the girls, well, one of ‘em took one look at Bandy and decided to join a convent. Found Jesus right on the spot.” He laughed.
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what a dog might have to do with finding Jesus, but he sounded serious.
“The other girls, well, one of ‘em gave Barley a try and he locked her up so tight she was screamin’ and scootin’ and tryin’ to get away.” The man was smiling at the memory of it. “Said she didn’t ever want to see another dick in her life after Big Barley was done with her.”
“A dick?” I looked at the guy wondering what he was talking about.
“Yeah, ain’t that something?” He laughed like I knew what the joke was. “Turned that woman queer as a three dollar bill right there in the backyard.”
“Oh, well, I’m not a lesbian.” I promised him. “I just slept with Janey, I didn’t sleep with…”
“And the third girl, well she wasn’t much to look at, sort of feisty too. Had an abrasive personality.” The man looked at me. “She was untrainable.”
“Oh, um…I like training.” I promised the man.
“That so?” He seemed to ponder that.
“Oh yeah. I was a trainee at Wendy’s, a good one too, and um, at McDonald’s I was a trainee there for 3 weeks, until I broke the ice cream machine.” I frowned, thinking maybe I shouldn’t have said that. “You uh, you don’t have an ice cream machine, do you?”
The man was laughing. “Nope, no ice cream.”
“Good.” I smiled. “Anyway, see I’m real trainable.” I promised. “And I don’t want to be a nun or anything like that.”
“We’ll see.” The man chuckled. “You do seem promising, girl.”
“Really?” I smiled and felt warm inside. It was nice to be promising at something besides lap dances for a change.
“So, what’s the biggest dog you ever had?” The guy asked, since it was a pretty long drive and we were just maybe halfway into it.
“Well, I never really had a dog.” I admitted, a little shyly. “I had a lot of dogs follow me home though and I liked to play with them a lot.” I hastened to add, seeing the man’s frown.
“Really?” He looked at me.
“Oh yeah! Everyday almost since I was little, all sorts of dogs would follow me around. I’d bring them home sometimes after school, give them a bath and some food, then we’d wrestle around.” I was smiling as recalled all those happy moments. “Dogs love to wrestle, you know.” Because maybe he didn’t horse sex fetish.
“Heh. If that’s what you wanna call it.”
“And some of those dogs were pretty big too, as big as me or even bigger sometimes. Our neighbors, three doors down, had a really big dog. I used to ride him around like a pony.” I giggled. “I always wanted a pony, but we lived in a small house in Lynnwood.”
“I see…and this big dog, he ever ride you?” The man grinned at me.
I laughed. “No! That’s silly! But, mmmm…He thought about it maybe. A lot of those dogs liked to jump on me and stuff, especially after we were wrestling good and I was hot and sweaty, you know? Then they’d hug me and stuff, sort of like they wanted a ride.”
I wasn’t sure what the guy meant exactly, nor was I exactly sure what I was talking about, but that happened with me sometimes. Like I might get an idea right on the tip of my tongue, but it just wouldn’t quite come into focus, you know? I know those dogs liked me though, and they liked wrestling around and hugging and licking at me too. But I wasn’t going to tell the guy about how they tried to lick me down between my legs, that was sort of personal.
“But you never give one a ride?” The man asked. “Not even once?”
“Ummm…” I wasn’t sure why he was asking me that, didn’t I just say that I hadn’t?
“After all that wrestling around, and that big dog starts hugging you…” The man suggested slowly. “Didn’t you ever let him do it?”
“Ummm…Oh.” My eyes widened and my cheeks got hot. “Oh!” I was finally understanding what he meant. “You mean when the dog’s thingy got hard?”
The man laughed. “Yeah, the dog’s thingy” He shook his head.
“Well, um, sometimes it was like they thought I was a girl dog or something.” I told him, feeling a little embarrassed. “Dogs get a little confused I guess, like anybody else, and sometimes they’d try and put their thingy in me but I always kept my panties on so…uh…” I licked my lips. “…sometimes I let them rub me, sorta, you know, just to make them feel good.”
“Rub you?” The man pursed his thin lips.
“Yeah, like between my legs, just rubbing me and um, well, it got sort of messy and stuff, but it felt good for the dog.” I shrugged, hoping that would explain why I’d let a dog rub his penis against my panty covered sex.
“Felt good for you too, I bet.” He was grinning at me like he knew a secret and I was blushing hard then, looking out my window at the passing darkness.
We drove a few minutes in silence and I couldn’t really think of anything to say, but it was sort of uncomfortable like that too. I always feel like people are waiting for me to say something, although I don’t know why. I like to listen too.
“Anyway,” I said, hopefully changing the subject. “Dogs like me a lot.”
“Oh, I think my boys are gonna love you, girl.” The man agreed cheerfully “I don’t think they ever had a virgin to break in.”
“A virgin?” I sat up a little and stared at him. “I’m not a virgin.” I said it a little indignantly, like it was a bad thing to suggest or something, which seemed a little silly actually.
“You say so.” The man laughed and I felt a little humiliated by it.
“I’ve had a lot of sex, for your information.” I was pouting a little, but I couldn’t help it. “I’ve had three boyfriends and I did it with all of them. And more than once with the last one!”
“More than once, eh?” He was laughing so hard I thought we might go in the ditch.
“Yeah.” I crossed my arms defensively.
“You’re a sweetie, girl. I really hope my boys like you as much as I do.” He reached over and patted my bare thigh. It was a friendly touch, not like the guys in the club touched me sometimes, so I ignored it.
“You like me?” I finally caught up with what he’d just said.
“Course I do. What’s not to like? You’re cute as hell, sweeter’n sugar, and about as complicated as a hole in the ground. If you ain’t perfect, then I’m Abe Lincoln’s grandpaw.” He spoke with an exaggerated drawl, teasing me a little maybe, but I paid it little attention.
“Oh.” I thought about that for a minute, not sure if being compared to a hole in the ground was a good thing or not, and finally deciding it was meant as a compliment. Country people had a strange way of talking, I realized.
“You know, if this thing does work out, you’re gonna be stayin’ for awhile, right?” He was looking at me again. “This isn’t some weekend getaway, or a little vacation til your boyfriend comes back to his senses. We’re gonna have some work to do and you need to be sure you’re the right girl for the job.”
“Oh, I am!” I promised. “I don’t ever want to see my boyfriend again!”
“Too bad for him.” The man said under his breath. “Now seeing how you’re so young and all, maybe a ten year contract might be good. What do you think of that?”
“Ten years? A contract?” I didn’t know anything about business stuff. I mean I’d filled out some job applications, and tried to do my taxes once, but the IRS had sent me a letter and returned my check along with one of theirs, saying they owed me 48 dollars and I didn’t owe them $287,210.37 at all. They seriously warned me against writing bad checks to the government in the future and suggested I hire someone to do my taxes. Someone I trusted, they said.
“Well, yeah, I figured we’d get it all in writing and avoid a lot of misunderstanding later.” He said reasonably and that sounded like a good idea to me.
“Ummm…How much does the job pay, anyway?” I’d really been wondering about that.
“Hmmm…Well, you’ll be living in my house…” he shrugged, “…sorta, and eating my food. I’ll pay for your clothing and um, jewelry…”
“Jewelry?” I asked, brightening slightly and wondering why he’d buy me jewelry, but not really caring why. I liked jewelry.
“Yeah, there’s some rings and uh, window dressing I’d like to see you wearing.” He was sort of vague. “We’ll get to that later.”
I nodded. “Okay big dog cock sex.” Rings are nice, I had a couple on my fingers and one on my big toe, but they were all pretty cheap.
“Anyway, so I think if you sign for ten years I can put your pay in a trust…”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“A trust? Like a special bank account. The money sits there until a certain time and then you can get it out.” He shrugged. “It makes interest while it’s in there, so you end up with more money later, see?”
“Hmmm…” That sounded sort of good, I thought. More money later. My Daddy had always told me to think of the future, this sounded like a good way to do it.
“So, for ten years I put your pay in the bank, in a trust, and after that you can quit if you want, take your money and do whatever you want, how’s that sound?”
“Okay, I guess it’s alright. Ten years is a long time though…” And it did seem like forever, considering I wasn’t even twice ten years old yet.
“Nah, it goes by quick, believe me. You’ll just be 29 then and have more money than you ever dreamed of.” He gave me a reassuring smile.
“Oh yeah.” He nodded. “Banks pay almost 3 percent on a good savings account these days.”
I wasn’t sure how much 3 percent was, that math stuff always confused me, but the guy seemed to know what he was talking about. Still…ten years, that was a lot.
“But um…What if you’re dogs don’t like me?” I asked, although I couldn’t really imagine that and I didn’t think he could either.
“Then I’ll give you a hundred dollars and a ride home tomorrow, just for your trouble, how’s that sound?”
“Great.” I nodded with a smile. It sounded good, except for the home part, since I didn’t really have one of those anymore. So I figured I’d better make friends with those dogs, or I was gonna be sitting in front of the 7-11 again.
“Good, it’s a deal then.” He was smiling and held out his hand so I could shake on it with him.
“Yes sir.” I nodded and hoped I was doing the right thing.
“I got some contracts already in the glove compartment there, open her up and take a look.” He reached up and turned on the dome light.
“You have contracts already? Here?” I blinked at that. Some things just feel strange, you know? Like finding yourself in an old episode of the Twilight Zone or something and I almost looked around for Rod Serling, before I remembered he was probably dead.
“Well, you just never know when you might meet the perfect girl, you know?” he chuckled as I opened up the glove compartment and found some papers. “I used to be a lawyer before I took up farming.” The man was explaining to me. “Corporate law. Made a lot of friends, a lot of enemies, and a whole lot of money.”
“Oh.” I said, for lack of anything better. He didn’t seem like much of a lawyer to me, not like the ones I saw on TV. I read the paper slowly, mostly because we were rolling down the road sort bumpily, but also because there were some words I didn’t understand. Heck, I didn’t even know you could put that many letters together in some of those words.
“…the undersigned also agrees to unconditional modification of physical attributes to include decorative and/or functional facilitation of employment requirements?”
“That’s just fancy talk for tattoos and piercings mostly.” The man shrugged. “Do you have any tattoos or piercings?”
“Ummm…no.” I said, not really ever wanting any either. “Except my ears, I mean.”
“Good.” He was nodding. “I like a clean slate.”
“Uhhh…okay.” I wasn’t sure what that meant. I kept reading. “…the undersigned understands fully and accepts without reservation the inherent and unavoidable physical risks that she will endure in the performance of her daily tasks?”
“I had to put that in there just because you’re going to be working with animals. Dogs can get a mite rough, you know.” He chuckled.
“Oh, sure.” I’d been scratched plenty of times by accident, so I guess he had a point. “Umm, how about this…the uh, undersigned confesses and discloses freely her willful desire to engage in acts of bestiality for such purposes as may be defined and required for the performance of her job? What’s bestiality?”
“Playing with dogs.” The man smiled. “Well any animal really, but the next paragraph specifies that dogs are what we’re talking about.”
“Oh, yeah.” I read the next paragraph and it did say that this contract only covered bestiality involving dogs and that if another species of animal were to be involved in the future we’d address that in clause number 6 of annex C, whatever that was.
“It’s a lot of paper, I know.” The man apologized. “You can read the whole thing later if you want, but we’re almost home now. Why don’t you go on and sign the last couple pages. There’s some initialing to do to, everywhere you see a little red arrow.”
“I guess you really are a lawyer!” I giggled and signed and initialed and signed some more. There were three copies there, one for him, one for me, and one for… “Who’s this copy for?” I asked him as we turned onto a dirt road.
“Oh, that’s for the Tribal Register.” He said, like that would mean something. “We’re on Indian land now, my great, great grandmother was part Indian, so they sold me a few acres.” He grinned at me. “Made me part of the tribe.”
“You’re an Indian?” I looked at him, thinking he looked as white as George Bush.
“Well, just a little. Making a donation to the reservation’s children education fund helped too.” He laughed. “Anyway, being on reservation land makes it a lot easier keeping a little dog girl like you. We’ll get the contract certified and legalized and you’ll be all set and proper.”
“Uh, proper what?” I had to ask.
“Proper, um…property!” The man grinned and rubbed my knee. “But don’t you worry about that, it’s time to meet the boys K9 dog sex fantasies.” He was pulling up to a stop in front of an old country house that had never been built by Indians, I was pretty sure. It was old, but well kept, and there was a big barn and a silo and everything. It really was a farm and I was a little excited.
I wasn’t sure about him using the word property though, that seemed kind of strange. I soon forgot about it though as we stepped out of the truck. It had stopped raining halfway between Seattle and here and the ground wasn’t even damp. But it would be raining soon, I thought, there were flashes of lightning on the horizon and I wrapped my arms around myself in the chill air, wondering where the dogs were.