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>>>Posted in Uncategorized on May 15th, 2007

The skinny old man with a droopy moustache came into the dark bedroom. Parking his walking frame, 78-year-old Albert Fish slipped between the sheets snuggled up against the wool nightdress of Maggie.

“I love you Maggie,” he wheezed.

“You stupid Casanova,” grumbled Maud Macdonald (83). “Maggie’s in the next room, but you may as well stay here now. What do you have in mind?”

“A fuck.”

“What’s that?”

Albert explained and finally Maud’s memory triggered and she realized what he was talking about. That made her excited. She’d had her last one around forty or forty-two years ago shortly before liquored-up husband Roy was killed crossing a railway track in front of a train that apparently he’d not realized was moving.

She turned on the light and they both struggled to kick down the top sheet and light blanket.

“I’ll need to be soaped up or something – I’m very dry these days, Albert darling.”

“Soap – I’ve got 21st Century stuff,” said Albert, pointing to a liter bottle of lube he’d placed on the dressing table. This should be enough.”

“Then lube me, Albert,” cackled Maud.

“Which is the right crack?” asked Albert, peering between her wrinkly legs.

“Probably the most central one, but does it matter? Just slosh it around and get a finger working; fingers know where to go.”

It was slow going. Thirty minutes later Albert had Maud huffing and puffing. Finally she went ‘Zizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”

“Did you cum?”

“Wouldn’t have a clue, but I feel as if I’m sitting on a cloud.”

“That’s either a genuine ejaculation or you’re deceived your mind into thinking you’ve had one, which is called a phantom ejaculation. I reckon it doesn’t really matter at your age which type it is because we’re not trying to conceive.”

“Conceive what?”

“Children.”

“Oh, how many?”

“I’ll try to give you as many as you want, Maud – but no promises,” leered Albert.

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>>>Posted in Uncategorized on May 15th, 2007

Serena and I rushed down Highway 168 heading away from Norfolk toward Nags Head, North Carolina. Normally we would be working for a late afternoon photo shoot, but there were rainstorms in the area and we expected it to start raining sometime about midmorning, so instead, we went for an early morning shoot. I had picked Serena up at her motel and was explaining to her where we were headed.

“You remember hearing about the Wright Brothers?”

“Oh yeah, you mean like Mario and Luigi?”

“Mario and Luigi? Are you kidding me?” I asked, then seeing the smile on her face I knew she was kidding.

“Of course I know about the Wright Brothers, the first to fly a heavier than air airplane.”

“You never really know with you youngsters these days, I bet if I go to a mall anywhere, and ask that question I’d get plenty of answers like ‘Mario and Luigi’.”

“Okay, yeah you’re probably right, but who are you calling a youngster? I’m every bit of twenty years old.”

“Twenty, really?”

“Well, I will be next week on my birthday, but hey you’re not that old.”
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